


The Actress

by SoulOfAFangirl684



Category: Naruto
Genre: About a year after Sasuke's betrayal, Angst, Closeted Character, Internalized Homophobia, Kakashi as a Father Figure, Kakashi being awkward, Multi, Not-quite Coming Out, Takes place during time skip, Unrequited Crush, but supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulOfAFangirl684/pseuds/SoulOfAFangirl684
Summary: Kakashi wasn't sure when it was he realized that his student was a compulsive liar.





	The Actress

**Author's Note:**

> Still cross-posting some of my old stories...  
> I remember this one being an interesting stepping stone for me. I've actually had 3 different accounts during my fanfiction run. The first move was just because I felt my writing had improved to a point where I didn't really want to be associated with all my old stories anymore, but didn't want to take them down either. The account this one was originally posted under-- the same pen name I'm using now-- came about a little for the same reason. A few more years had passed and I felt my writing was markedly different again, but I'm actually still posting stories under both accounts 2 and 3, so this move was really more about the TYPE of stories I wanted to write. I really hadn't written anything exploring character sexualities during my time primarily spent on my second account. Once again, I felt I'd built a sort of reputation for myself, and at the time, I was self-conscious about adding this aspect to it. This was really the first LGBT+ centric story I'd ever posted anywhere. It'll be interesting to see how it holds up.

Kakashi wasn't sure when it was he realized that his student was a compulsive liar. Of course, he would have to be the first to admit that Sakura was the student he'd connected the least with. She caused the least trouble, showed the least potential. She was, in every way, an average teenaged girl. And let's be honest here; what did he know about teenaged girls?

But that wasn't to say she wasn't just as much a part of Team Seven as Naruto and Sasuke. She was his student, too, and he had a responsibility to her.

Except then their team fell apart. Sasuke had fallen into a dark place, and nothing anyone did or said could pull him back out. Sometimes Kakashi wondered if the Uchihas' little 'avenger'—how he'd come to loathe that word—realized how thoroughly crushed the ones he'd left behind were. It had been a long time since his actions had ceased to affect other people.

To his credit, Naruto had taken the loss fairly well. He'd thrown himself into his training with a new vigor. To a lesser extent, Sakura and Kakashi had done the same, but neither of them had the luxury of leaving this place where so many memories remained. Sakura had begun to focus more intently on her medical studies, and Kakashi took on and completed missions at an alarming rate.

He didn't have to wait for hindsight to know, somewhere inside, that he was going about things the wrong way. He'd already lost one team and was a step away from losing his second chance, assuming this idea that he hadn't already lost it wasn't a delusion. He shouldn't be distancing himself from the one student he had left.

But that's what he did. And he was sure he could have found a psychological reason behind this avoidance, if he was looking. (Guilt sounded like a pretty good one.) After all, he'd put his own hopes and dreams into this team. He'd taken Sasuke's struggles onto his own shoulders. He'd taken it upon himself to… What was the right word? Fix him? Save him? But instead, the boy had used him like a stepping stone, and he'd been helpless to stop it. So he made a conscious effort not to look.

Therefore, it was safe to say that it was pure coincidence when he ran into her nearly a year later, just walking down the street. He had been nearing the flower shop run by Inoichi's wife, his book open in front of his face. He shouldn't have been surprised to see Sakura there. They may not have been meeting on a regular basis, but he was still… keeping tabs. He knew his (former?) student was trying to rekindle her friendship with Ino.

But nothing could have prepared him for what happened next. He and Sakura were a few respective feet away, walking down opposite ends of the street, when Ino walked out of the shop, hand in hand with the Inuzuka boy. He saw Sakura falter then freeze, but neither Ino nor Kiba seemed to notice a thing.

They watched as Ino and Kiba sealed their goodbye with a kiss slightly too passionate for a public place and far too passionate for them to be casual acquaintances. He watched as the look of horror then despair made its way across Sakura's face, which was nothing compared to the expression that formed when she noticed him and realized that he'd seen the whole thing and was putting the pieces together.

In a moment that was, surprisingly, graceful enough to be that of a ninja and not a distraught teenaged girl, Sakura whirled around and took off in the other direction. Kakashi sighed.

Well, fuck…

Was there really even the option to _not_ go after her at this point?

Now, Kakashi may not have been a teenager, and he may not have had much of a love life himself, but he was a smart man. He could recognize heartbreak when he saw it, and Sakura hadn't been looking at Kiba.

As he tucked his book away and took off after her, he ran his mind back through the time he'd known the girl. He'd already admitted that he hadn't paid her nearly as much attention as the boys, but had he missed something obvious?

Had she ever seemed melancholy about losing Ino's friendship? Sure, especially recently. But he hadn't seen anything suspicious about that—not when her other, much closer friends were all drifting away.

Rekindling their old friendship had seemed like a step in the right direction. There was a time and a place for a rivalry, but they needed to be able to work together as fellow shinobi of the Leaf. It never would have crossed his mind that Sakura could have been looking for something more from the other kunoichi.

But hadn't there always been a side to the girl that he hadn't understood? She was a walking contradiction—a by-the-book teacher's pet, but her first response was to lie whenever things got out of hand. The most basic tell of someone with something to hide.

His mind was still racing when he caught up to her. She'd stopped at an empty training field. He could tell she was wiping away tears, though she had her back to him.

"Rough day," he commented lamely, unsure where to start. She chuckled quietly, nodding, which he took as a good sign. At least she'd allowed him to catch up.

He knew Sakura was strong in her own way. People would rarely see this strength when she was standing beside her team mates, but no matter her shortcomings, the girl was resilient.

He had to wonder, how long had this secret been bottled up and hidden away? Homosexuality wasn't something frequently discussed in this village. It could be hard to judge how someone would react to her feelings, no matter how innocent.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Who knows?"

Silently, he berated himself for beating around the bush. How could he expect her to trust him enough to share her secrets when he couldn't even speak openly on the subject? It was selfish to say it made _him_ uncomfortable. This was her _life_.

She gave another quiet laugh before finally turning to face him. "You. So what happens now?"

He watched her carefully. "If you're asking who I _tell_ now, I don't feel particularly obliged to tell anyone. I feel you've moved past allowing childish crushes to affect your work."

Could she tell that he meant it as an encouragement? That Ino wasn't worth her affections if she couldn't return them?

Sakura's smile was disheartened. "Thank you."

He could have let the moment pass. This little secret could remain an unspoken thing between the two of them, return to the shadows. But he felt he would have wronged her in some way if he let this pass. Kakashi had never really given a thought to his own opinions on the matter before now. But if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that it just didn't seem right for his student to have to hide who she was. He saw similar situations in the way Sasuke had blocked his emotions, the way Naruto hadn't shared his knowledge of what he was with even his closest friends. Perhaps he'd already failed both of them. There was still one student he could do right by.

"How long have _you_ known?"

She seemed surprised and even a little hesitant when faced with his interest. "Well… I can't really pinpoint a time when something changed… I've always been… this way. If you're talking about how long I've liked Ino… For about as long as I've known her."

He nodded, silent but not judgmental. He could only imagine the toll the stress of keeping such a secret would have taken on such a young child's mind. Had she jumped at the first excuse to get out of her predicament, figuring that if she distanced herself from Ino the rest of her problems would go away? From that perspective, Sasuke looked like a pretty good scapegoat. And who was to say that it was all pretend? Sasuke had been confident, popular, attractive. It wasn't such a crazy idea that Sakura could have seen the same things in Sasuke that she'd admired in Ino.

"Will you tell her?" he asked at last.

She shook her head, appearing almost incredulous as his question. "No. There's no point."

"You don't know that." He knew he should probably stop. The whole point in chasing after her to have this conversation was to try to spare her from any further pain, wasn't it? But he just couldn't bring himself to leave her without even a shred of hope. "How do you know you're the only one keeping secrets?"

Sakura gave him a small smile for his efforts. "Thank you. But I don't think it would work out. We have so much bad history… This might be taking things a little too far to be realistic."

He could tell she'd thought this through, and he wasn't going to argue with her. "Just know that I'll stand behind you, whatever your decision."

The look she gave him next was very warm. "Kakashi sensei, I… I really appreciate that."

He smiled, knowing it was time they parted. But he had one last fault to mend. "I apologize for keeping my distance. I know it was weak on my part. From now on, I'll be sure to check in from time to time, and if you ever need anything, feel free to seek me out. You've all started down your own paths, but I'll always be your sensei."

He knew that after they left today he may not see her for another week, if not longer. But he had faith that she would build herself back up, the way she always did. And he had every intention of keeping his word. He wanted to be there when she overcame her insecurities and came out to her family and friends. He planned to still be there, as her rock if need be, no matter their reactions. He knew his student would make something of herself, become something amazing, one day. And he planned to be around to see it.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't tag Sakura with a specific sexuality in this story, because I purposely left it a little open-ended. Personally, I would lean more towards the interpretation that she's bi. I'm not sure I could ask you to suspend your disbelief quite THAT much to try and say ALL of her actions around Sasuke were a cover. (Though given how over-the-top she could be some of the time, maybe that's not as much of a stretch as I thought when I was originally writing this...)


End file.
